August 15, 2024 – Daily Musing – Work Anxiety

I have been off work due to osteoarthritis in both my knees.  I work as a PSW which is a very physical job.  It is impossible to do without being able to bend, stand, walk, run and crouch.  I am 55 years old and I need to work until I am 65 to afford to retire.  My long term disability benefits run out in a year and half.  That sounds like a long time but it isn’t when you are waiting for 2 knee replacement surgeries and you will need around 6 months to recover.  I can’t get both knees done at once either.  I do have some office experience and my employer said that I could go into an office job when my LTD is over.  I am also trying to improve my typing skills and computer skills.  I will be taking an accounting course in the fall to further my skills.  I was fine with all this until today…….

I received an email from my doctor telling me that she just referred me to a surgeon.  I thought she did this a month ago so I was kind of depressed that it happened so late.  I made the mistake of telling my husband and he freaked out.  He told me that we would have to sell our house if I can’t get another job.  I am old and nobody wants to hire an old person.  He was furious at my doctor.   This set off my anxiety big time!  My plan of attack was to make a to do list and work through it.  This helps me not sit on my phone all day and overthink things.  It did work!  I feel like I was productive and I feel like everything will work out.

Work and not working has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety through out my life.  It is best to have a plan of action ie, taking a course, make a budget.  It is also best not to overthink it.