September 3, 2024 – Daily Musing – What I Would Say to Introduce Myself to My Meditation Class

Meditation Class

Next Wednesday, I am taking a meditation class at the local Seniors Centre. I am hoping that it will ground, calm and provide insight.  If you google the benefits of meditation, it will give you a list of wonderful benefits.  It sounds like the perfect thing to do to tame your anxiety, right? Well, I hope so.  I am a little bit hopeful and a little bit skeptical.  Today, I was thinking what I might say to the instructor and my other classmates if we were to go around the room to introduce yourself and state why you are taking the course.  Here is what I would say…..

My name is Emma and I have been practicing different kinds of meditations off and on for the past 12 years or so.  I have taken mindfulness meditation and practiced that for a few years.  For 2 years I have taken weekly classes at the Dharma Centre in Waterloo.  I have also taken classes with (this particular instructor) before as well.

Yes that is very basic.  But if I had the guts, here is what I would add….

When I would meditate, I would experience unbearable emptiness and heart breaking sadness.  I kept meditating hoping that it would change.  I was hoping for a blissful spiritual awakening however, that never happened.  Instead during the Covid outbreak,  I started experiencing horrible panic attacks and I lived in a constant state of anxiety. I could barely function.  I guess I was hoping that all the work, all that meditation would have helped.  I was so disheartened. I stopped doing meditation and yoga due to lack of faith. That was 4 years ago.   My therapist told me that if I didn’t do all this meditation, I would have been a lot worse off.  Maybe I would have been hospitalized or maybe I would not have been able to work.  There is no way to know, I guess.  You just must have faith.

Of course, I wouldn’t tell the whole class and the instructor all these personal facts just because I am a very private person.  But it is fun to think about what I would like to say.  Now, I am still trying to figure out why am I going back to meditating?  What am I hoping to get out of it?  I don’t know as of know but I know I am drawn to take this class.