Health Anxiety and How to Calm the Storm Within

It is 11:15 pm and I cannot sleep.  I cannot work.  I cannot do the dishes.  All I can do is watch tv and play on my phone.  I am paralyzed in fear! I am convinced that I have a serious heart condition and I will need surgery. Health anxiety is very common with people like us with anxiety disorders.  It can be completely overwhelming.  However, I do have a few strategies that can take the edge off.

My Apple watch was vibrating last night and when I looked at the message, I was surprised.  It said, “very low heart rate”.  I thought to myself, “Oh, it’s the way my arm was under the pillow that gave an incorrect reading”.  I did get a few more warnings that night but I still wasn’t too concerned.  The next day, I tapped on the heart icon on my watch and was concerned that it read 54 beats per minutes!  I thought to myself, “oh dear, my Apple Watch is getting old, its not reading my heart rate properly”.  I downloaded another app on my phone that measures heart rate. Sure enough, it read that my heart rate was low too.  I obsessively took my heart rate on both my watch on my app throughout the day.  I google it (I know, I know, I shouldn’t have) and of course my anxiety doubled. Low heart rate under 60 beats per minute is call Bradycardia.   The next morning, I called my doctor’s office to see if I could get an appointment.  I told them what was wrong, and they put me on hold for the longest time.  In my mind, the receptionist was running to the doctor and yelling “should she go to emerg???”.  This is what my therapist calls “mindreading”.  I had no idea why she put me on hold.  I was able to get an appointment.  The nurse practitioner took my pulse and it read 54 beats per minute.  She quickly gave me a requisition to get some blood work done and an ECG.  She told me that she was also going to refer me to a cardiologist.  The appointment was over quite quickly.  My mind went blank with fear as I left the office.  Driving home, I could feel my wrist buzz which means a phone call.  I looked at my watch and it was my doctor’s office!!!!  In full panic mode, I pulled over to the side of the road to answer the phone call.  I could hear in my mind them telling me to go back because I was very very ill.  I anxiously picked up the phone and said hello.  The receptionist was on the phone and kindly told me that I forgot my blood and ECG requisition at the Doctor’s office!  The rest of the day was a bit of a write off.  I was very anxious.  Normally in the past, I would be in panic mode so being anxious was quite an improvement. It is still uncomfortable but is is not nearly as bad as panic mode! I have been practicing a few strategies that I have learned in the past few years.

One strategy that I have learned is to tell myself, “this is anxiety, it is a symptom of an anxiety disorder and it is not the truth”.  It is like having a runny nose when you have a cold.  I let myself be anxious and practice self care.  I know that tomorrow I will feel better.  This too shall pass.  Another very valuable phrase to tell yourself is “I will handle it”.   I learned this phrase from Kathy Somers who runs the Stress Management and High Performance Clinic at the University of Guelph.  There is a lot of research that backs this up.  “I will handle it".  Please check her out at www.selfregulationskills.ca.  I have been to a few of her courses, and they are wonderful.  I have also downloaded a lot of her biofeedback tapes.  Ok, I am a child of the 80s so CDs?  Download? Mp3?  I don’t know, let’s say tapes but it is downloaded on my phone so I can listen and practice, OK?

I have my blood test and ECG test tomorrow morning.  I will see what the next steps are. I am sure that I am fine.  I WILL HANDLE THIS!