My Review on receiving Life Process Transformation Therapy that was created by Viola Fodor (2018 – 2019) part 2 – Chapter 2 – Opening Awareness

I would like to continue my review on Life Process Transformation therapy by Viola Fodor.  This blog is going to focus on a few things that stood out to me in chapter 2 titled Opening awareness[i]. 

On page 23, Amanda and I discussed about “Patterns we take on to put self down or to confirm a negative self-concept[ii]”.  Amanda told me to pause and watch my thoughts and ask, “Do I need to be so hard on myself?”  Of course, the answer is always no.  This is a question that she asked me through out my therapy and a question I would ask myself frequently.

We also talked about defence / coping mechanisms which are mind tricks we play so we don’t have to look at any unpleasant truth. Two that stood out to me were “blaming ourselves” and “Internalization.  “Blaming ourselves” is when we are angry at ourselves, we self-loathe and have immense irrational guilt.  I do this all the time.  For example, if a car honks at me, I always assume that it is for something I did.  After, my self loathing and guilt kick in.  I then start to think about all the other times I was not perfect.  I see myself as “bad”.  Amanda said that judgement is responsible for all this pain, and it is not rooted in reality.  She suggested that I look at situations without judgement, just to see them how they are.  Amanda said to start with small situations to practice on where you can look without judgement. Ask yourself, can you see the truth in the situation?  Amanda emphasizes weekly for me to make sure that my self talk is loving and compassionate.

Another defence mechanism that I use is “internalization”.  This is when we “take in information that doesn’t belong to us[iii]”.  Amanda explained that this is when we worry about other’s people’s feelings but ignore our own.  Also, this is when we are oversensitive.  I am so guilty of this, and I am still working on it.  If my husband is angry, I am overwhelmed with anxiety and depression.  If my coworker speaks to me harshly, it hurts my feelings so deeply.  I am too sensitive.  Amanda suggested that I try to put some space between my feelings and my observations.  The goal is to have a calm mind and stay with emotions knowing that you will not be overwhelmed by them.  In this way, it is possible to process feelings properly.  Amanda would encourage me to have my awareness and for me to be kinder to myself.

I am still working on all these strategies.  It takes time.

[i] Life Process Transformation Workbook written by Viola Fodor, Willow Press, 1981,2015, Paris, Ontario, page 23-24

[ii] Life Process Transformation Workbook written by Viola Fodor, Willow Press, 1981,2015, Paris, Ontario page 23

[iii] Life Process Transformation Workbook written by Viola Fodor, Willow Press, 1981,2015, Paris, Ontario, page 25